Boy A had a one night unprotected sex with Girl and got her pregnant. They decided to have the baby. Baby was born and they were happy, until Boy B and Boy C came forward to claim paternity to little baby girl. Girl got upset and defended her reputation. Boy A now Dad A, also upset, agrees a paternity test will resolve this issue. And the nation waits with bated breath.
Sounds like another episode in a sitcom, except it's not a sitcom and the people involved are more likely Cartoon-network fans and Xbox gamers than discovery channel watchers.
Meet Alfie Patten, 13 and Chantelle Steadman, 15. Both are still children, having children. or in this case, a child named Maisie Roxanne.
At 13, Alfie (who looks more like 8 than 13) now has to shoulder the responsibility of fatherhood at an age when he himself still needs fathering – after girlfriend Chantelle gave birth to baby Maisie on February 9th in East Sussex, UK.
Outrageous? You bet!!
Read the full story and see more photos here.
While the news sparked an outrage and the world at large throw around their opinions, mostly condemning the negative impact this could have on the mindset of an already dysfunctional society, I will let you have your own opinions if you wish, for I have mine to share as well.
One cannot doubt that this is not a good thing. Not entirely. But there is something good in there as well. You’d have to admire the courage this pair of kids have about the idea of bringing a child into the world and care for it, despite the impossibility of all odds and then face the criticism and condemnations about their reputation and that of their family’s in the process. First of all, in the rational minds of society this rings very negatively in whichever aspect you wish to look at it from, and people are also worried the kind of message this could have sent into the minds of children – therefore I do not blame the many disappointments and disbelief and criticisms that are thrown about. I mean you should be upset that something as avoidable as this has to happen. It is alarming to know that times has gotten worse - so much worse that sex is likely to be viewed as recreational rather than responsibility not to be trespassed by the younger generations. It seems as if sex to them is just another friendly game when they're bored with the Wiis and Nintendos. I'm not a Brit so I will not comment on the free-value sex-education that they have in their education system but I imagine that system needs to be looked at because it has done the opposite of what it is meant to achieve and as such Britain now has the highest rate of teen pregnancy plaguing its nation. To be honest I was appalled too when I first knew of it (apparently this is not even the first of its kind). Even now at 26, married and working, though I’m ready to have a child I still think it will be a huge responsibility to take on that will require a handsome portion of my monthly pay cheque and lots of lifestyle changes to cope with it. Remembering myself at 13, I could not for once imagine wanting to be in their shoes… or even anywhere near it…
And that’s it.. why not imagine being in their shoes then…
I mean you can criticize and condemn all you want but the fact of the matter is, it has happened. They have had sex. A child has been born as the result of that. It is no longer something we could have avoided because the avoidable has arrived and thus become unavoidable. Therefore I think, rather than raging fire at the issue, it would be helpful if people just start hoping whatever decision this young couple has made will work out for them and the baby.
Yes he is young. Yes he is still a child. Yes his premature imposition to the responsibilities of fatherhood will deprive him of a normal childhood and necessary process of growing up and experiencing youth. But in other countries and in another era (and even some religions), this would have totally been in accordance with nature, and no one would view this wrongly – but we are not in another era. Of course the reality of the 21st century views this rather harshly because in reality, we all now, whether or not he’s reached puberty and should be responsible of his stupid actions, 13 is still, realistically speaking, too young an age to be a father especially when asked of how he’ll manage in a bid to assess and criticize his emotional, psychological, and financial capabilities admitted, he does not know how much nappies cost but thinks it must be a lot. Judging from the way he innocently responded to questions from people wanting to judge him with such naivety, you’d know how unfit he is to shoulder a responsibility of this magnitude, but he did anyway. He pledged to be responsible anyway instead of any other alternatives.
So let’s look at the other alternatives:
1) He and GF could’ve opted for an abortion so he could go back to being a child and getting hooked on his play station and Xbox games.
2) He and GF could’ve ran away from home till the baby was born and have it thrown away in the dumpster after that
3) He and GF could’ve the baby farmed out to adoption agencies.
4) He could let GF have the baby and shoulder the burden alone and refuse to be responsible for anything and continue being a child.
Gotta admit, none of the alternatives are very relieving either right?
Let’s not deny this fact: we’re now in an age or irresponsibility where (supposedly) even a lot of mature adults are shying away from parenting responsibilities and performing very badly as parents or chucking it all together (you’d want to blame Alfie’s and chantelle’s parents too on this don’t you?). In fact a lot of men (not all, but a lot) don’t take the responsibilities they should as fathers even if they know how and have the means to do it.
And yet, in the age of irresponsibility, what does Alfie do? In the age of irresponsibility, this jobless, non-graduate, four-feet tall 13-year old boy has pledged to ‘be a good father’ even when he doesn’t yet know how and his only means of surviving this is the occasional £10 he gets from his father. In the age of irresponsibility this young child-father chose to be utterly responsible. This could not be said for many mature adults, so I think this is very admirable on his part. I mean given his situation, how many of you can say you would do the same thing? I’d imagine more men bolting than wanting to stay at the first sign of impending fatherhood.
Let’s not forget, he’s 13 (12 when the baby was conceived). He’s still practically a child himself. His voice hasn’t even broken yet! Look at his face! A face like that should have a baby sister not daughter. And yet, without fully understanding the magnitude of whatever consequences that came after that one night of unprotected sex with dear GF, he has pledged responsibility as a father, when he could’ve easily chuck it all and go back to the emotional security of his playstation and Xbox games like nothing’s wrong.
His family too has pledged support. We may worry that baby maisie may not have the appropriately conducive upbringing with child-parents but we should be thankful that she is lucky enough to have parents who even if they may be immature, young and foolish, still chose to care for, love and be responsible for her and her well being. We wish nothing like this will happen again (mostly because it just doesn't feel right), but if it does or must, at least we wish they would be responsible for their actions, like Alfie is.
Alfie Patten will try to be a good dad. He may not know what it means, he may not know what it takes. He may not understand what he needs to do. But he has a heart of gold and for that I think he deserves our admiration, support and prayers.
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