Gone going gone

I got back from work early today, got my first wedding present, ate good food, got some much needed rest (for some unknown reason i just felt so tired) and feel like I can relax and destress for once after so long - all the reasons there are to keep me happy (and I was) but I'm not. Not until now. For some reason, I find my happiness bubbles bursting before they even take off the ground to soar in the wind. They just flop and disappear on the ground. Talk about counting your chickens before they hatch! That's me, building up an extraordinarily huge excitement for something that isn't even there in the first place. How did I ever did such a mistake? I truly couldn't tell..

I cannot understand why I'm so miserable lately. And I'm not even hormonal now. But the depth of my disappointment surpasses my logic. maybe i know the source of all this sadness and i'm just in denial. maybe i don't, i'm not sure. but, somewhere at the back of my mind is absolute restlessness, festering there in a constant manner, robbing me of what possible bliss that may come my way. Maybe that's why I keep feeling tired for no reason lately, it's not physically draining me, it's mentally. And i cling to every hope of possible happiness so badly that when it cease to exist, my disappointment doubles - the act of counting my chickens when they're still mere eggs.

I'm about to be married in 29 days exactly.
I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be feeling this way.
I just don't know what went wrong.
Is this what brides-to-be go through?
I was happy all along and now, suddenly, with not so apparent reasons, i emotionally crumble, all over the place.

Yes, I do feel the stress of the wedding preparation getting to me.
I just don't think it would affect me that badly.
Maybe i pressure myself too much. maybe its all self inflicted.

I just need my stability back. Huhu...