Vile ignorance...

A few friends whom I texted today, asking for their adresses so i can send them my wedding invitation cards responded, with calls, largely guys, asking me if I'm sure I'm getting married, if I'm certain I'd made the right choice and decision. Three of them to be precise. So I asked, "why do you ask? Why wouldn't I be?" One said I don't looked like I am ready to be a wife cause I'm still young (probably illusioned by my youthful immature look), the other said, he's not sure if I'd chosen the right guy. Another said, he just wanted to make sure I am not making a rash decision to get hitched cause it's not a bed of roses and he wants to know I'm truly ready and sure I want to be with my fiance.

These are people who call themselves my good friends. While I appreciate their concerns, I don't think they're in a position that entitles them even to ever so remotely suggest such questions to me. let alone actually pose one. And I especially hate the tone they take when asking me these questions, sounding like they know me more than I do myself. Like I'm not smart enough to make the right decisions on something as big as my own marriage. I may be known for many things, but I am never rash, never about love and relationships, especially on something as important as this. Don't I know myself better? Don't I know what's best for me for a husband?

So I asked them back, "why wouldn't I be sure? I've had 5 years to think and have done enough thinking and deciding and right now I want nothing else more than I want to be married to my fiance whom I love dearly. If I'm not ready and he's not the right guy, would I do it in the first place? If you think you know me so well, go think about it, am I that stupid?". Yeah I was defensive, extremely, and to a certain point, very insulted as well. All three did not relented, with silly excuses. One of them said the amount of years I'm together are just numbers and the others had to counsel me with a whole load of crap of how I should take more time to think about it cause it's not a small step, getting married. Don't they think I know that already??

I was deeply disappointed with these people. They obviously don't know me very well and evidently, for being so ignorant and insensitive, has proven that they have no right to make such claims or statements to begin with. The most unfair thing about it all is that none of them knows my fiance very well, cause if they do, they'd be wondering why I hadn't married him sooner. If they do know him they'd have more sense about keeping their mouth shut cause they'd realize, I am marrying a man they can only hope they could be half of. Who is being rash now? They weren't merely suggesting I rethink, they asked me to do so, without even knowing the person I'm getting married to. That's just careless.

Aren't friends supposed to be happy for you and tell you all the nice things about loving another person? I'm not saying i don't appreciate some advice, but seriously if you need to give any to a soon-to-be bride, make it adequate, at the very least, tell me how i might better improve myself, tipping to the ways a guy would think and offer advice on what could help improve the relations between man and woman in general. Not this irresponsible claims of me not being mature enough to become a wife and all the other craps.

They're not even my close friends (okay maybe two of them were at one point in my life, in a time that has long passed, close to me, but now, they're far removed from that standing) so obviously they don't know how happy and so in love I am with my fiance. But to think they toyed with the idea that I may be careless making this decision is just outrageous really. They don't spend most of their past 5 years with me. My fiance does. I know him more than they could ever wish they know me. I have not loved anyone more than I have loved him, and still love him. And I've had more than enough time to think and I know damn well that I don't want to marry anyone else but him. In fact, I cant wait to be married to this man who is my fiance. And even if they don't know me well,but if they'd just try to remember by experience, they should know, I am the most sensible, most choosy, most hard to please person when it comes to picking a guy for myself.

I ended up telling them to stop talking cause all I wanted was an address, and not counselling and said goodbye, nicely, calmly, politely. If they have some sense, they'd know that they've offended me and apologized. None of them did, although they did give their addresses, but not without additional messages mirroring their earlier efforts, as if they're doing me a favour for warning me against life's possible savageries. I didn't say it's always going to be easy, everyone knows a relationship no matter how compatible, needs effort and work. But there's no one I'd rather take the leap with than my current fiance.

So you people out there, stop trying to question my readiness and decision. Stop thinking I needed more time to think about this. Stop being so insensitive, if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all. Just stop all the carelessness, especially when you're not even entitled to be that careless in the first place.

If you're truly a friend, at the very least, you'd wish me well and pray for my happiness.